The Kristen Becker Podcast

The Truth About Who You Associate With (and Why It Matters)

April 20, 2022 Kristen Becker Season 3 Episode 20
The Kristen Becker Podcast
The Truth About Who You Associate With (and Why It Matters)
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Show Notes Transcript

In this podcast, I share why who you associate with matters.

It doesn't take much time to think about the people in your life and how they might impact you. Whether it's a spouse, friend, or family member - we all have an influence on each other. In fact, research has shown that our close relationships directly impact the quality of our lives!

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Who are the people that are having the most impact in your life, and are they having a positive impact or a negative one, here is a really, really easy, pretty illuminating and fun way to find out, you've probably heard the term that you're a reflection of the five people that you spend the most time with. And we will come back to that in just a moment. But the first thing you want to do is make a list of the five people that you engage with the most. And then you want to make a list. This is a very interesting list of the five people who most frequently occupy time in your head. So this is the people that for whatever reason, you think about them, good, bad memories, future casting, whatever. But go ahead and make that list. And then for each list, rank every person on that list from a scale of one to 10, for how positively they influence your life. So for example, if you think, gosh, well, this is all good. There was nothing but good here, then obviously, there are 10. And if it's someone say even one of those people that occupies time and your head, and it's not good, then they're probably like a one or two. Or also, maybe they really do have some quality things that they bring to your life or potential for that. So just try to be honest, but nonetheless, rank all of the people. Before we move on to what to do with this insight, I want to go back to that idea of being a reflection of the five people that we spend the most time with. There are a number of reasons for this. Reason number one is that we have mirror neurons, we're going to mirror the behaviors, actions, attitudes, and such of the people that we spend the most time with, we are going to naturally adopt their values and beliefs and begin to align with their beliefs. If you think about someone who maybe has what was initially a contrasting belief of yours, but you spent enough time with them, and you started saying, Well, you know, I kind of understand or I see their point, or they're right about that. And this could be, for better or worse, I'm not saying it's a negative thing, it could be a very good thing. But we've got the mirror neuron neurons, we've got the adoption of ideas, values, and beliefs. And then we also begin to resonate vibrationally with the people that we spend the most time with. So with your ranking of 110, and these ideas in mind, you're probably starting to get a good snapshot of which people are positively influencing your life and which people are negatively influencing your life. Now, I'd like to move into an idea of something I call social engineering, we're all in charge of our lives, and the things that we do, how we focus, our energy and our attention, who we focus that on what kind of activities. And I like to recognize that there are certainly people who aren't my everyday people. And it's nice for us to have a relationship and ongoing relationship. But maybe their 14 day people, 30 day people, 60 day people or even 90 day people that our impact and time together is maximized when there's a longer duration of period in between them. So we can come together, catch up, you know, enjoy the highlights, and banter and still maintain a relationship, but not necessarily have that be a every day regular routine relationship. So I just invite you to start thinking about that possibility. Because this doesn't mean that we absolutely aren't going to spend time with people. And then the next thing to do is to take the person who is absolutely the lowest on that list, and hit the snooze button for a week. And before you do, you can maybe write down just some general thoughts and ideas in a notebook or a journal or something. And you don't have to be rude about this or even overt or even let them know. But just make a conscious effort that I'm not going to engage with them on social, have conversations with them, whatever I mean, you've already identified that they are, you know, somebody that's in this less than positive influence area of your life. And so just give yourself a break. And then after that snooze of one week, reflect on that right, and assess your overall vibration, your thoughts, the nature of your mood, both before and after. And this insight will give you really what it gives you is the confidence and the courage to do what you probably wanted to do anyway naturally just based on your vibration, which is to perhaps turn this person from an everyday person into a 14 day person, a 30 day person or a 60 day person. But nonetheless, that's the idea and the process. And this is all about really just fine exercises to get more clarity within yourself and make more creative decisions and make moves and changes in your life that you do purposefully and with intention for the sheer purpose of keeping yourself in your highest vibration keeping yourself in your most synergistic and productive state that just feels good to you that just works for you. So go ahead and give that a whirl. See what meaning and value it holds for you. And I will talk to you in the next episode.