The Kristen Becker Podcast

How to Break Negative Patterns For Good

August 03, 2022 Kristen Becker Season 3 Episode 34
The Kristen Becker Podcast
How to Break Negative Patterns For Good
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Show Notes Transcript

Why does this keep happening? Do you ever ask yourself that question? I used to, and I really wondered... why? Turns out it's not a mystery and when you understand what's going on and how to change it you can break patterns MUCH more quickly!   

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Let's talk about breaking undesirable patterns in your life. Now, what that means is things that keep happening and you say, My God, again, why is this happening again, things that you do not want to continue to happen in your life. But keep happening, I'm gonna give you some really quick insights and tips about how you can break those patterns. Finally, free yourself from the things that you don't want. One of the best ways to free yourself from patterns is to understand why they are patterns, how they become patterns, why they're staying patterns, right. And as humans, what we do is we create models to help us understand ourselves and understand the world. And these models are based on our programming from our early life experiences. So let's say you get a program in your early life experience, say that your financial level is going to be at a certain amount, you have a certain ceiling of how much you will earn. And therefore, the amount of struggle that you might have in your life relative to this perception of finances and income. That's just an idea is something you adopted, because that's what the people around you believed. And because of how our subconscious adopts programming, when we're young, it's supposed to be helpful, by the way, you adopted this idea as well. And then as you go out into the world, you take this model, and everything that happens in your life, you try to make sense of it based on this model. And it takes a really long time using this particular process to actually break patterns, as data is coming in to our systems to our awareness, our senses day in and day out. We're always trying to put it through a filter based on this model. What does this mean? And what does this mean to me. And of course, it's always going to fit the model, because that's really what you're doing automatically under the surface, unconsciously, without even thinking about it. And then in practice, and quote, real life, when you finally get sick and tired of something that you don't want to deal with anymore. That's when you start saying, hey, maybe these things aren't true, maybe the model I'm using is actually not a true model, right. And then you start looking for evidence to support the new model. Now, you can see just from me explaining this, this is a very long process. Some people never break out of this process, they'll spend their whole entire lives doing this. So we need other things, we need better processes, to much more quickly identify and break the patterns. And the good news is that simple awareness is your very best friend in this situation. To look at the situation, well, it's pretty easy to say I have identified a pattern that I don't like, right, whether it be around your constant struggle around, say income, relationships with your physical vitality, friends, socialization, whatever it is, it's pretty easy to see the pattern that you don't like. And the next thing that you want to do is ask yourself, What beliefs what models are supporting this pattern? If I'm going to continue to live this way, what are some things that I am accepting as true? What are some beliefs I have around this. And to give you an example, I already started with money. So I will stick with that. A lot of people really believe that, let's say for their future, their only hope is either a to win the lottery, or B to slowly invest in a 401k. And then when they're 65, or something, they will have the money to be comfortable. That is a belief. If you hold that belief, then you have very, very limited choices. And you're not going to believe in yourself and your ability to do other things. So I'll give that to you as an example. And so first, you're aware of the pattern. Second, you identify the beliefs that are supporting that pattern. And then third, ask yourself, Where did I get this belief? Well, where did it come from? Right. And that is usually pretty darn easy. It is usually in our early childhood or our peers, our family that we grew up with, or that we currently spend a lot of time with. And this is a natural process. It's supposed to be for our good, right that we adopt the beliefs and the ideas and the programming of our community so that we can then integrate into our community, you can see how it's supposed to work, we are designed to work efficiently. However, when you see that that belief is holding you back, then it's time to start addressing it. So at this point, you've identified the pattern, you've identified the belief, you've identified where the belief came from. So number four, you want to say, is it true? Is this true? And something I like to do is look at people who are not in this pattern. And that shows To me very clearly no, this is not true. Alright? Every human being is born with the same capabilities, right and everything. So if there's a whole bunch of people that are not stuck within this pattern, then I know that that belief is not true. And that's just one way to go about discerning whether or not you feel it's true for you. There are many ways. And as you work through this process, then you start looking for evidence. Well, actually, I would say back up, what do I need to believe? What does someone who has achieved this thing in life, right? Or broken through this pattern and having the opposite results, which is obviously what you want? What do they believe? So find out what do I need to believe to get the results that I do want to have? Start looking around for evidence to support that belief, we're always putting all of our senses and data and everything that's coming into our perception, our awareness through a filter of some sort of filter based on a model. So you just want to use your awareness to start putting the information that's coming in through this filter that supports a new model that supports a new belief. And through this process, you will absolutely come to believe the new belief, it will seem quite insane that you ever believed the other belief, I can tell you from personal experience. And then of course, most importantly, you will have different results in your life you will break that pattern and get the desired results. Like everything else. Transformation is an inside job. It comes from putting these things into practice in our own lives. So go out and do that for yourself. And I will talk to you super soon.