The Kristen Becker Podcast

Why Is It So Hard to "Let Go"?

May 24, 2021 Kristen Becker Season 2 Episode 18
The Kristen Becker Podcast
Why Is It So Hard to "Let Go"?
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Show Notes Transcript

Letting go is one of the best things you can do for yourself in any situation yet it can seem mysterious. Why is it so hard to "let go"? When you understand the mechanics behind letting go, and what stops you from letting go, it becomes much easier to do!

This is part 1 of a 3-part series on Letting Go. Be sure to check out the next two episodes (19 & 20),

Interested in learning more about Letting Go?  Check out the book Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins! 👇

Letting Go, Dr. David Hawkins

 I listen to this book on Audible several times a year and get something new from it every single time! 

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Welcome to the five minute success mindset. I'm Kristen Becker from Brillane. All this week, we're going to be talking about letting go. Because it's my favorite thing in the whole wide world. And I think that everyone deserves to be at peace. And when you do explore the idea of letting go and make the personal choice to let go of stuff, you too will find from your experience, how incredibly amazing it is, it creates something that I have always called creation space. So if you let go of a feeling you've been carrying around a grudge, a story, whatever, you literally create space, you know, in your heart and your energy in your brains, the neural networks of your brains for something better to come in and fill that space. And so today, we're going to talk about the actual mechanism, like why basically why we don't let go, because understanding that is very important. And on Wednesday, how to let go of trauma. And on Friday, how to let go of a need for comfort holla it's interesting to start with understanding why do we not let go, we have to make a personal choice to let go. That's where it begins. And when you understand kind of what's going on, you pull the curtain back and see what's going on, you know, under the surface, you're like, Oh, well, crap. I see, I understand now. And I see the way out, I understand the mechanism and what I can do, it reminds me of that Bob Newhart skit where he would play the therapist and the person would sit on the couch and unload all their crap. And he would lean forward and say, stop at was always as advice stop at. And you know, if only it were that easy, right? It can be you can get better at it as your practice, you probably heard me talk about my favorite book of all time, currently, maybe another one will come in, but it's currently letting go by Dr. David Hawkins, I personally listened to it on Audible a couple of times here. I read some reviews on Amazon, out of curiosity, I wanted to read the ones for people who did not like the book. And one woman said he doesn't tell you how to do it. And that's kind of true. He tells you so many compelling reasons why so many examples. So much the study of consciousness, what he what it gets you that, I think his purpose was to compel you to want to do it. And that is where it starts, you have to want to do it. So. But let's look at why we know, shall we. And really, it's, you get an emotional payoff. Like as human beings, we like to feel emotion, good or bad, it really doesn't matter. We'd rather feel emotion than not feel emotion. And also, we are just conditioned. We don't have a lot of role models that show us how to think differently, how to process emotions and information differently, how to interact differently with people. So if you have a role model who teaches you, you know, compassion and self, what do they call that? Self agency, right? Call them up, and thank them, because it's a wonderful thing, we should do more of it for each other. Because naturally as children growing up, it would be foreign to us to you know, spend a decade or many decades of our lives holding a grudge against somebody, if we were taught different ways, then we'd be like, why would you do that? And really, if you think about I'm like, why would you do that? But we do. And we can learn not to that's the cool thing and get that creation space for ourselves. So I like to use the example of a garage because we've all had people in our lives that we could tell with seemingly great detail on the logic and reasoning, why they're a bad person, why they hurt us, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And really, that is just creating a crap ton of neural networks in your brain around that story. You keep telling that story. You keep feeling the emotions, you get that emotional payoff. And we have receptors in ourselves for the emotions that we feel most frequently, literally get physically addicted to those emotions. But understanding that this is going on can be the catalyst for wanting to break the cycle and break the process and free yourself of that ridiculousness of carrying around a grudge for so many years. So to begin with, we tell the story out of practicality. We want to justify taking action to stop suffering. So it's it has its place, you kind of go down the list like yeah, this sucks. This sucks. You know, I don't want this in my life. And so it's practical to begin with. But the problem is, is we keep revisiting the story again and again and again. And it's kind of like if not if, but when when you drive home from the grocery store, you don't have to think about it, your brain has created a whole entire neural map about how to get in your car, take this road, take this road, pull into this parking lot, whatever. And you don't have to consciously think about it And the same thing is true of a grudge. If you're holding on to negative emotion over an experience. You've just created such a solid network in your mind to make that happen automatically. You probably revisit the feelings and have inner dialogue during the day about things that happened years ago, right? So today is all just about simple awareness like, Hmm, okay, this is happening, okay, I could do something about it. And I would suggest pick something in your life that you're ready to let go up and get ready. Get ready, it's gonna feel good. It's gonna maybe be a little hard, but it's gonna feel good. And on Wednesday, join us because we are going to talk about letting go of trauma, which is huge. Everybody's got some form of trauma, and man letting go of that. It's just amazing. And then on Friday, what is what are we doing on Friday? Oh, yeah, yeah, letting go of your need for comfort, powerful. I'll see you then. New episodes of the five minute success mindset come out every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss one. And if you're an entrepreneur who's ready to create and crush the one year goal that puts your business on the map, check out Brillane. om and see what we can do for y u.