You deserve to be fully self-confident and, achieving ALL of your goals in life will be so much easier when you are! Discover the “low-hanging fruit” when it comes to becoming more confident. How to do it and why it works so well!
This is part 1 of a 3-part series on Confidence. Be sure to check out the next two episodes (22 & 23).
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Hey, let's talk about self confidence. We all deserve to have high self esteem, and the confidence that is absolutely vital to our success in all areas of life, relationships, business, the pursuit of our passions that really make us feel alive. All of these things hinge on having the confidence that empowers us to approach them in the most productive way possible. All this week, we're going to be exploring ways to enhance your own self confidence. And today, we're going to begin with what I believe is the easiest way, it may seem a bit paradoxical at first, but once I explain exactly how and why it works, you are definitely going to want to do this. The easiest way to enhance your own self confidence is actually to help others to raise their own self confidence and their own self esteem. As I mentioned, it's critical to success in life. But not only that, as a result of being successful, but also in working through the challenges that are an inevitable part of becoming successful. We all know from personal experience, that when you're doing this, when you're surrounded by critics and naysayers, it becomes so much harder. However, when you have people who support you and believe in you, and are your little cheer squad so much easier. And we want to do that for each other. But here is why uplifting the competence of others is actually going to directly lead to you becoming more competent. When you think about how you look at and perceive and interact with other people, you have filters, you have a magnifying glass that you're looking at them with and making judgments, determinations, choosing how you communicate, whatever. But all of these same habits of how you look at other people, you actually apply to yourself. So when you have developed the habit of being critical, and judgmental, and that sort of thing, then you're also applying that same perspective to yourself. So you might look in the mirror and say, I am beautiful, I'm capable of anything. And but you might be like, I really don't believe that my coach told me to say that, right. So when you do it for other people first, you notice how good it makes them feel how good it makes you feel, you get more inspired, and then you automatically start applying that same filter to yourself, and then you yourself will become more confident as well. Let's look at two fun and easy ways that you can start using today to inspire confidence in other people, people around you the people you love and care about. Even just people you meet randomly. This is so much fun once you start doing it, and seeing what a wonderful result it has for people. It's just Matt evicting. So the first way is to praise progress. a growth mindset develops around the understanding that we are capable and continuously growing. So when we praise progress, rather than end results, right, then we are praising a person's inherent ability to be successful to do what they want to accomplish things. When we praise just the end result, if you wait until somebody is successful, and then say, Oh, good job, you know, they always feel like they have to continuously hit that bar, like be successful at something in order to be confident, right to be valued to get praise from people to know that they matter. But when you praise progress, everybody is capable of progress. We are all in progress, right? It's really powerful for building self confidence. I will give you a perfect example. My son is graduating from high school next week, yay. And he was a little upset, not upset, but just thinking about the fact that he didn't know for sure what he wants to major in in college. And I pointed out, I was like, dude, you have finished a year's worth of college classes already. You've taken jobs in areas that you're interested in to determine whether or not you want to go down that path. You've dedicated yourself to these passion projects, which you're having so much fun with. And you're really creating frameworks for making that decision. The progress has been incredible, the frameworks that he has created, he will use for the rest of his life to make better decisions for himself. So by praising his progress, and taking the emphasis off of that one final decision, it really helps him to be more confident in himself and in his own abilities. Another super way is just to take the time to communicate an appreciation for something unique to an individual. Now this could be something like a characteristic and attribute something they didn't experience a skill, some little nuance about them that you admire and appreciate. Now, superficial compliments are great, right? They're very easy. But when you take the time to note something uniquely intrinsic to an individual and you To celebrate and support their individuality that is very empowering. And that's very confidence inspiring. Here's a perfect example. Just last night, my neighbor and I were sitting on her porch talking about something that we have opposite points of view on. And at some point during our conversation, she gave this crazy compelling example, just like the best metaphor slash analogy, and I stopped, and I was like, wow, that's brilliant. What a genius way to communicate your point of view. And she, of course, pumped up and she was like, Oh, well, thank you. And I really meant that, you know, and I have gotten in the habit of looking for these things in people in situations and taking the time to go one step further, and to communicate it to the person, just as I mentioned earlier, because I do that for other people, then it's a whole lot easier to also do it for myself. It's easy peasy, really, to create a new filter for how you see and appreciate yourself and grow yourself confidence. You simply apply that filter to others first, and then you're going to very naturally and automatically apply it to yourself. Practice, practice, practice pebbles on the pile. Have fun with it.