Are you selling yourself short? Find out in today’s podcast episode- How to Stop Selling Yourself Short. Find out where it’s happening in your life (you probably don’t even notice!) and how to turn it around so you can boost your self-confidence quickly.
This is part 2 of a 3-part series on Confidence. Be sure to check out the next two episodes (21 & 23).
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This week, we're looking at self confidence. And today we're going to look at how to stop selling yourself short. This is huge, because day in and day out, there are millions of ways that we could be potentially selling ourselves short. And this is important because every time you sell yourself short, you are placing a vote to yourself confidence, saying, I don't matter, I'm not a priority, I don't trust myself, my intuition, my needs, my desires, all not a priority. However, when you notice that this is happening and take a different action, then you're placing a huge vote of confidence for yourself and building your own competence. So let's brainstorm some ways that we can do that. I want to look at places in our lives that we tend to sell ourselves short, and how we can turn it around. To begin with, let's look at relationships. Of course, I'm talking about relationship here, everything's relationship, the person on the street, the friend, the peer, the family member, the partner, everybody is relationship. And when you notice that you're selling yourself short, in a relationship, and you take action for yourself, you know, make that vote for your confidence, then what you're gonna find is that the people that you're having this relationship with will either adapt, or they will sell filter right out of your life, which is great, right? So take any relationship, this is so much fun, you can look at something from today or some, you know, repeated relationship, there's probably something already popping into your mind. And start asking yourself, are there ways in which I'm selling myself short in this relationship? And if so, what can I do about it? What action can I take? How can I vote for my own self confidence, right? A lot of times, this is going to show up with people who are really only engaging with you for transactional relationships anyway. So it can be helpful to figure that out and put a stop to that. And either, like I said, change the nature of the relationship, people will adapt, or they might self self filter out. And I'm sharing an example with you because this particular example was very pivotal for me, in actually developing my own self confidence, and establishing boundaries, and prioritizing my own happiness and my own understanding of what's best for me. I had a friend who, every time we get together, would spend all the time gaslighting and gossiping about our other friends. And I know of course, there's a developing terrible, you know, deep neural networks in your brain perspectives, filters, all sorts of things that I didn't want my life and I just felt bad honestly about, even listening to even if I wasn't engaging in this type of experience, ongoing, it was it was all the time. And so I took a stand for myself, I started saying, hey, well, what about these people is really working for them? Or how can we help them? You know? Or how can we celebrate good parts about them, and I started to turn the dialogues around. And unsurprisingly, this didn't go over well, it wasn't well received. And that's okay. You know, because I was able to do something that voted for my own trust in myself and in, in what is best for me, and establish some boundaries in this relationship, and stop selling myself short. When we stop selling ourselves short, even in the smallest ways, it can have a really profound impact. And that's why I hope that what I just shared with you illustrates that in letting you know what a big impact it had on me, because it wasn't really just about that one particular situation, you know, that was, I guess, like the beacon for other relationships, and areas and ways in which I was selling myself short. And I realized, okay, I have the power and the ability to change this. And that enhanced my own self confidence. Another great way to stop selling yourself short is to look at your time, how do you spend your time? What do you do all day? and ask yourself, did I sell myself short at all today, or was absolutely everything that I did today, a vote for me, and my absolute faith in myself and my self confidence and prioritizing me and trusting me. Now, this is fascinating. Because if you just take any random day and look at it, you're probably going to see plenty of ways in which you were selling yourself short. But that's fantastic. Because then you're aware of it right? And you can make different choices tomorrow. We're starting right now make different choices today. And again, I'm going to share some really specific examples because these were ones that were particularly powerful for me in voting for myself, you know, standing up for myself taking votes for myself. Casting votes for myself, I should say and developing more self confidence. And one example is going to the gym. My health and my physical vitality is really important to me. And by sitting on the couch and not getting up and going to the gym every morning, I was making boats to my self confidence and they weren't good votes, right. And so by just becoming aware of it, I could say, Hey, you know what, I need to use my time to cast votes for myself, and therefore, I'm gonna go to the gym. This podcast is another perfect example. The whole first year that I had this podcast, I was very random about when I created episodes, that was casting votes against my self confidence. But by simply sitting down and saying, I love this, this is really important to me. And choosing to use my time to make three episodes a week, I am massively casting votes for my self confidence, right? That was a huge game changer for me. And it was just a little part of how I spend my day. What about work, the type of work that people do, you know, a lot of times we'll take a job, and it just seems like, Oh, it's just one, you know, I'm just gonna do this, I don't want to do it. And that could turn into selling yourself short for decades, or, you know, for some people, even a lifetime, look at how many people absolutely hate their jobs. And they keep them until they retire, right? So think of your time as an investment. And you're investing in yourself and your self confidence and ask yourself, Am I selling myself short? with how I spend my time each day. All of these things are votes, every vote counts. And your self esteem is definitely listening. So you want to make sure that you vote with your actions and your choices for yourself and for your self esteem. Now, I know I'm really running this whole vote metaphor into the ground, like, but I was thinking, you know, hey, I'm running for president, President of me, Christian for president of Kristen. And all I have to do to win is to vote for myself. pebbles on the pile of my friend, keep casting those votes. Yes, I'm not gonna let this one go. All day long. Do things that support and validate and celebrate you and your self confidence will rise with that action and those choices