When you understand the science behind communication you can do so in a way that is way less likely to get you "canceled". I wouldn't go so far as to call it bulletproof communication because there is a lot more going on here that we are going to talk about this week but for sure- this simple communication trick will eliminate a lot of the conflict between you and people you care about.
This is part 1 of a 3-part series on How to Avoid Getting Canceled. Be sure to check out the other two episodes (30 & 31).
Today we're gonna talk about the sciency way to avoid being canceled. And canceled culture is actually not new at all, if you think back to the church and how they canceled Galileo, and you know, science based astronomy in general, and he claimed that the earth revolved around the sun and not the other way around. And the other way around was the narrative that they wanted to put forward or the story that they wanted to live by, and they wanted the masses or their followers to live by, when words come out of your mouth, especially now, with all the documentation in media, it's helpful to know how those words are going to be processed, and the biological functions and actions that they're going to create in the people who hear and filter those words. And here's how it works. When someone feels verbally attacked, their brain shifts all of its resources, from the logic and reason part of the brain, to the fight or flight part of the brain. Obviously, when somebody is resources are shifted to the fight or flight part of the brain, you better expect to fight, or you better expect flight, which is basically to get canceled for them to try to remove you from their life, right? If you can do something that keeps it in the logic and reason part of the brain, you have greater capability for productive communication. Now, sure, when it comes to cancel culture, it was a deep topic, there's a lot we could say, definitely, there's a lot of psychological manipulation going on there. There's a lot of societal enculturated habit of communication that is sadly unhealthy, right. However, the good news is, there is something called truth speaking. And when you get in the habit of truth, speaking, knowing how your words are going to affect the person who hears them, you can choose words more wisely, that helped to keep the conversation on a playing ground, that's going to be inherently more productive. And this is basically how it works. When you speak, speak from the point of view of how you feel, without attaching those feelings to blame to somebody else, you know, without reference to anyone else, or any group or anything like that just speak about things from the frame of reference of how you feel, because then people are going to engage their logic and reason they're not going to go to fight or flight because they don't feel attacked. So when you stop using phrases like your this, or because they that, you know, you literally leave people with the physiological ability to process and react to what you're saying, again, from the logic and reason part of the brain, and not the fight or flight function of the brain. So what do you say? What you say, I statements things like, I feel confused, I feel unsafe, being surrounded by so much conflict feels unnatural to me. And these are just a couple of examples. But when you get in the habit of using I statements and feeling base statements that are completely detached from anybody else, their input what they're doing right, then as I mentioned, you're going to have much much much much much more productive communication and be way less likely to be get canceled. So get in the habit of do your true speaking, speaking if statements speak about how you feel canceled culture week, we're going to be talking about it super fun. I'll see you in the next episode.